(that's for the lack of a better title)

It's kinda funny. After thinking about it. I didn't do anything at all for chess, and yet I'm going for chess...nationals I think. Something like that. And I trained my shooting for so long, and yet I didn't get in. Ah. Don't you find that hilarious? Hmmm. Absolutely. Hahahahahahahaha.... Yeah man. It's like that. Hahahaha... so funny. Aiyoh. Fine. Hahaha... And I think that...if I win anything, it won't be by my effort.

And it's also strange. That I have to consciously control what I think about. Hahaha... certain things are...forbidden...by myself. Must always remind myself not to think of certain things. Well...I guess nothing is that easy after a while. You just don't not think about stuff if you don't want to. Everything has to be a conscious effort. There's no such thing as...feeling like studying. At least I think there isn't. Must make myself feel like studying. It's mind over matter. Hahaha... cos I'm naturally... quite a sloth.

I still wonder about a lot of things...at the back of my head now. These thoughts have to go into hiding. For the moment. Or forever. Who knows. If I don't say anything, then it will be as if nothing's happening. And if I don't consciously think of anything, it will be as if certain things don't exist. Ha.

Great. Now...back to work.